Man Candles: That's right. Candles. For men

 

Men - do you love the smell of freshly cut grass in the morning?

For every man who openly weeps at repeated viewings of The Notebook, there are 99 others who blame their sniffles on hay fever and claim they're only watching to keep their ladylove company. These 99 per centers are stealth softies who are happy to wear concealer just as long as it's labelled "spot cream", and to carry a purse only if it's billed as a messenger bag.
Someday, these beleaguered gentlemen will enjoy total pampering emancipation as well as rapturously free access to fashion choices beyond stripy socks. But until such time, stealth softies must cloak their yearning for gender-spanning sybarite pleasures in he-man lexicon. Mind-body-spirit crap will continue to be disguised by tough-guy talk. Personal luxuries will remain reframed in jokey blokespeak.
Here is where Man Candles come in. Man Candles, as you might have ascertained from the name, are candles. For men. Because a guy cannot be expected to simply light any old stick of scented beeswax in order to smooth his transition from the assault-and-thrust of his workday to the beer-and-belch of his wind-down. And this is the genius of Man Candles, from American company Yankee Candle. Who can question the testicular credentials of perfumed tapers entitled Riding Mower, 2x4 and Man Town?
Riding Mower's description runs thus: "Hot sun. Cool breeze. And the intensely summery scent of freshly cut grass." It sounds undeniably pleasant, but a little misleading, given the name. Where are the petrol fumes of the lawn mower, the acrid armpit of the man on the machine? For its part, 2x4 promises "the warm, unmistakable scent of freshly planed wood and sawdust" to evoke "a sense of confidence and quality". This is the first time I've seen sawdust linked with confidence and quality, but I won't deny the universal appeal of the smell of cut wood.
However, in Yankee Candle's eagerness to provide "manly" imagery for their products, the psychology goes somewhat awry. Despite the natural association of scented candles with home-based leisure time, Man Candles have a troubling emphasis on hard labour and onerous chores. As long as they're indulging in gender stereotypes, why not go for something more obviously "fun", like Eating In Front Of The Open Fridge?
They're on firmer ground with Man Town, with its blurb inviting one to escape to the "man cave" – that fabled nook of any dude's home where bro-time is indulged and celebrated – with "this masculine blend of spices, woods and musk". Perfect – just the ticket to mask the man cave's miasma of cheesy socks, petrified week-old pizza and low-lying flatulent smog.
But once the stealth softy burns through his supply of Man Candles, he can trade up for the following classy fragrances that smell fantastic while still referencing escapist guy stuff:
Nostalgia by Santa Maria Novella is the smell of a new car in an old garage: a surprisingly appealing blend of petrol, motor oil and fresh tyres that finally spins out in a pleasant pile-up of leather, tobacco and vanilla